The "ENDOSCOPY" was a total pain.

Yes, it was. I cried. Yes I did and I don't care.

I saw the whole process. Yes I did.

I saw the inside's of my stomach. Yes I did.

I saw the gastritis in the stomach. Yes I did too.

I saw the camera tube went right into my mouth and to stomach and to the small intestine.

Ouhh yes! I saw it all. Worst still, I felt the camera tube. Ewwww!

Even right at home, I just cant stop crying thinking about the whole process.

And now the throat is in a whole lot pain. ALOT!

Thank you nurse for holding on to my hands.

And this is so gonna be the last time I'm ever going for Endoscopy.

Very sure and ain't letting that gastritis develop even more.

I say.

- Ouhh boyy. Thank you alot for your comfort. -

First.....You came, you left. You came again, then you left. Now, you are back again, I wonder if you'll leave again. It teared me when you did this to me. One year plus of waiting and now, finally. GOD gave me the answers. Ouh wells, at least Im really contented. FOR NOW.

"And how many times I gave my heart. To how many times we fell apart, And it equals A promise in the dark. So don't promise me"

At least I know that "I'm still a part of you although ...." Time can never be rewind. Pictures left were meant to be memories. And it's those memories that pulled me through. I know this may sound stupid. I've heard enough from people. That I'm dumb to keep thinking about you. I smell you still. In fact, up till now. What can I do if the heart really says so?

You know me. If the heart really says so, then it's gonna be as it is. No matter what. But but..... Why only now? Why didnt you came earlier? The point of time when I needed you the most? Don't you think that it's a little too late now? 'Cause, I have him. And he have me. He loves me and I loves him too. But.... It tickles me though when...I still find myself still not over you. You should know that...

"When I love someone, I will love the person will all my heart"

You know me too well right? Although we can never be like in the past, only the word FRIENDS can pull us through now. Im telling you this. If you're missing without any words again, Then I swear that I will hate you for the rest of my life. Let alone me forgiving you.

-BBy, I think you should be proud of having me although .... -

Someone asked me this. What if one day.......?

You're asking me a question and shouldnt that be Im the one giving you the answers?

Well.. You gave me no choice and not even time to listen to my thoughts.

You merely went all the way right even before I could say anything.

Fine hokays? You'd rather spare THAT person's feelings than mine.

It's okay. Maybe as for now. I'll just make things go as it is.

Just don't be sorry if one day I make that decision.

That decision that you'll regret it forever.

As much as I've tried, Im holding on for now.

It's been NINE years.

Amazing that Im still holding on just for you.

But little did you know that.

I have exactly four more days for my "SCOPE" appointment.

Naaah.. Just getting a bit paranoid and restless.

Arrgggh. I've been asking people on how scope is done.

Research here and there. I know its not a big deal...

But the feelings just got extremely worse now.

Ouhhhh puuhhlleeeasssshh. Help me.

Im really having a hard time getting myself mentally prepared for this :/

P.S: Thinking about the camera tube going down my throat and to the stomach really gives me goosebumps. I think this even worse than the surgery I've ever been too.

Waffle with Banana Milkshake was a splendid duo.

My tummy is all full now. Wait OOooops! Did I just drank Milk?

Ouuhh Shaaackks! So much for my belon-ness again..

Didn't the doctor reminded me again and again not to have any milk for now??

How great can that be Lyy??? Now......

I'll just pray that those gastric wont react again.

And someone also actually crack my butt today.

So much for wanting to fry a rice with daun pandan instead of vegetables.

Okay2, must pardon that person. Sick right, so....

The thinking isn't that wise enough.

Heehs. You feel that pinch on you is it Mr Hafiz??

Ouhh just please don't be angry with me baby...

Your beloness just light up my Monday bluuuesss :P

That is why I really love you.

The story of the old nanny cracker is everywhere now. It's hard to believe those unless you really experience it. Serves me right for not going to school last Friday and I experienced the old nanny cracker came knocking on my door. Lucky my elder sis was home and all I can say, both of us were extremely shiverring and hugging in the room till that nanny went away. Sis cried but I didnt. LOL.

Saturday alone, I had two tutoring. One at Sengkang and the other was at Yishun. Too tired that I msg the word "nantok" instead of "ngantok" to Farahehh. And she literally laugh her ass off when we met up for our tutoring at Yishun. Thnks ehk Farahehh.. LOL! And Up to date, I have three students now and seriously, I kinda feel worn out after sometime.

"Stress tau ajak budak yang malas dari ajar budak yang slow learner."

After tutoring, went to Grandfather's house and lepak there. Sayang Atok and Nenek!!!

Alhamdulillah. As for today, I am $1200 richer. The application for the CCC Bursary was a success and that explains it. Bf has been having fever since yesterday. I was out with the family when he says that he wanted to go the hospital. So, daddy drove me to his house. Looking at bf so weak, daddy sent us to Alexandra Hospital. Poor love. Well, as he was suspected to have come close in contact with a H1N1 patient, he was sent to the observation room. So, there I had to wait alone for nearly 4 hours because the rest had to head for home first. sampaikan tertido aku kat situ. LOL. But then, I shall say thanks to Atiqah for accompanying me ''sms-ing'' througout and entertain me. I suker sesangat!! Hehe!! Alhamdulillah, the blood test was normal. Flag the cab and sent Bf home first.

"Please get well soon and very soon k bby?"

-You know I love you because you are not held back. 'Cause if you are, then I'll have to cry making the way home alone. *pout lips* -

I simply loooove mY Ladies.... Allooot!!!

P.S: OMG! I can't stop listening to BLACK. In lurve w his VOICE =)

For those of you who watched Mentor 3, all I can say. BLACK is totally AWESOME!!!!

His voice is totally power laa!

P.S: Click pause on my playlist first before playing the video clip.

For some reasons, I really wished that

I wouldn't have to wake up from that dream.

It's been so long since you last left me.

And now that you were back in my dreams again,

I feel it so hard to let you go.

Ouh please, someone! Wake me up from my lalaland.

*bang bang bang the head on the wall*

----------------------------------------------------

School - Back to school tomorrow after a week of hospitalisation leave.

'Cause of the hospitalised, I missed 3 FREAKING UT's.

Gerrrek kaper?????? And for some reasons, I've decided to go to school later for

Microbiology UT 2. GOD Please bless me.

K bye.

Received this MMS from Cha'B while they were busy getting ready for comp. Apparently, Endang is having competition today and I did gave my well wishes to my pretty ladies. I know they can do it yaw =)

I know its kinda belated but heck care. To Endang!! You go girls =))

Not forgetting too, It's our lil lady 20th Birthday today. Finally, someone is a year older now. Heehs. Now, HAALF is just perfectly complete with everyone in their early 20's. Welcome to the Club 20's babeh and Happy Birthday darla.

And to my bby... Thank you for the new bantal bucuk. Btw cyg, age doesnt matter for one having a bantal bucuk. Now, tell me. Who agrees with me. Those who doesnt, let us begin debating now. Haha. Like for real.

P.S: Bye bye HEART, Hello MICKEY =))

So again, I'll be back in school on Tuesday. Okay Atiqah. Read this. I'm coming back to school on TUESDAY. My appointment, I changed the dates. WeeehooOooo!! So, I meet u in class kays?

-We are 3months old today. ILY-

I feel that Im so lost in touch with the world now,

especially school ever since the hospitalisation. It's shuccky I tell you.

Haiz. 7 Days of hospitalisation leave and mind you, I missed all the 4 freaking UTs.

LOA application is approved but.... There can never be a retake of UT 2.

Thus, the weightage of UT1: UT3 will be 1:2. Gerek kaper? Wahh lau weii..

I tell you.... I have to study double the triple for UT 3. If not, there goes my chances of even passing all the modules.

Now tell me, who wants all this thing to happen right?

I don't want to be sick and I don't ask for it either. It's saddening. I know.

Now, everything is just a little too much for me to handle.

The gastritis pain comes on and off. Like macam tak bersalah gitu.

And when that happens, there goes aku, merengkok kat katil satu macam.

This is not favoured by me of course.

The family said that I've lost so much weight now. And that..

My pipi dah tak tembam lagi. Dah tak gendut lagi macam dulu...

BF says.. Dah takde babat lagi... Wahhhhh....

Sad kaper???? I tell you... I've had enough of that sey...

So, these past few days were mainly spent lying on the bed,

eating medicines and back to lying on the bed.

And yesterday, Mama (BF mum) called me.

Thought it was the BF calling me, sekali Mama pulak call.

She was rather concerned about my health though.

I can sense those worriedness in her voice.

Sejuk hati aku dengar suara mama.

Thank you for the advises mama.

Not forgetting too. BFF, SYAZWANI visited me.

I know, it's been ages since we last met. Upon hearing my condition,

she dropped by my house. Sayang betol dia kat aku. Its nice looking that our friendship still grows in each other's heart even though we're far apart now.

Syaz last words:

Thanks for smiling.

I hope you still treasure our friendship

and hope there will be no one that can replace me.

Like you do, ur still the best tau awak.

You take care ok awak? Promise?

I promise that I'll take care of myself k awak??

As per planned, the family and all the cousins will be heading for Melacca tonight.

Grandmother has decided for a traditional curing for my gastritis.

Insyaallah and hopefully it'll work.

So, I'll be back in Singapore on Sunday night.

Tuesday will be my follow up appointment @ TTSH @ 9.45AM.

READ THIS ATIQAH!!!
Again, this means that, I wont be able to meet you in class.

Wahh.. Sad kaper?? 1 whole freaking month tak dapat meet... :((

If BF.. Don't say laa.. Dia lagi sedih.. I know.

But what to do?? I can't say no to the parents.

I myself am in great dilemma. I'm going off tonight and I still have yet to pack my things.

Gerekk kape??

-Im sorry baby I have to be away on our special day again. But Please do know that I love you still as much as the day I met you. Love me??-

The very melodramatic days in the hospital.

Finally, I'm home after few days of hospitalisation in TTSH for gastritis. Okay okay, now that Im feeling better, I don't mind writing up a bit of the incidence. As said in the previous post, I had been having this gastric pain since last Wednesday. Thought that it was nothing, so I just kept mum to myself and even from the parents.

Sunday:

Sunday was supposed to be my tutoring day at Sengkang. So, early in the morning, daddy called home to wake me up. Daddy was away at work on Sunday morning, Abg was at work too and ibu was away to Johor for some matters. So, that left me alone at home. To tell the truth, I really couldn't wake up at that point of time. The gastric pain was totally a killer.

I couldnt do anything but to just cry on bed. Called mummy house. No one answered. Called the BF, but he didnt picked up either.

"Lagi dramatic aku pat katil tuh. Tergolek sane sini mcm orang nak setengah maut. I texted BF to please call me when he wakes up."

He did so a few minutes later and I was merely crying on the phone, trying to withstand the pain at the same time. After which, he asked me to wash up and says that he'll be at my place soon and send me to the doctor. BF picked me up and send me to Khatib first. Met mummy and for goodness sake! All the private clinic were closed. I swear I couldnt stand this any longer.

Then, mummy decided to bring me to her home first and gave me some gastric pills. I felt better after that and I slept till evening. BF had to leave around 2.30 as he had a soccer match over at Jurong East. Told me that he will be back after the kenduri at his house.

So, at around 7 plus, mummy brought me to the private clinic near her house. The queue was FREAKING long and I made a drama there too.

"Aku dah tak boleh tahan sakit, ape lagi?? Aku nangis lah dekat situ. Sungguh dramatic I say."

Seeing that I was really in pain, I was immediately seen by the doctor after that. He prescribed me with some gastric painkillers and 2 days MC. Not forgetting that the doc also gave me an injection called "Vascopan". He says that if this injection doesnt works and if the pain still persist, he advises me to go A&E. So, upon reaching mummy's house, I took the medicines and waited for BF to come and fetch me home. Mind you. It was a Sunday and I had Chemistry UT 2 on Monday and Recombinant DNA UT 2 on Tuesday. Sungguh risau aku. So, BF came and sent me home.

Later on, the drama started again. Right after BF send me home, I slept right away. It was only 10PM at that time. Tossing here and tossing there right until 11 plus. I admit again that this time round, the injection nor the painkillers worked. I cried laa, ape lagi. Dani saw how weak and trembling I was. So, I forced him to wake the parents up. Daddy send me to A&E TTSH immediately.

Monday Morning:

Over there, after seeing the doc, I was given fluid. The doc says that I was very weak and dry as I had not eaten anything the past few days. So, I was sent to the Observation Ward at A&E and the doc will only be back at 3am to further examine my condition. Meanwhile, I texted dearest HAALF and the BF saying that I was in A&E.

And boring2, sempat jugak aku amek gambar. Hehe. Punyelaaa rimas aku pakai mask.

*The first cucuk; right hand -- in A&E*

3AM, the doc came and looking still at my condition, there wasnt any improvement, she immediately says that I have to be admitted. I was sent to a B2+ ward, Ward 11B, Bed 51. Baba, umi, ibu and Dydy was there when I was sent to the ward. Around 4plus in the morning adelah. They told me to go to sleep and that they have to go home. Again, aku punyelaa sedih, kene stay at the hospital sorang2 lagi.

Next morning, at around 7.30Am, the doctors came and did their usual rounding. Due to the fact that my "pluck" on the right hand side was taken out, I had to had another "pluck" on the left hand. The doctor immediately says "NBM - Nothing By Mouth". Punyelaa sad aku. Dalah lapar, and I cant even have anything by mouth. And I will only have to rely on the "fluid drip" that was 24/7 on me.

*The second cucuk that I had; left hand -- In the ward*

Then, I received msg from BF around 8plus. He says that he's coming over at around 10am. Punyelaa happy aku. He did came around that timing and I was totally over the moon. Hahaha. Still NBM 'cause the doc said that I have to go for a "SCOPE". You know, putting a camera down through your throat and into the stomach. Yeah, it sounded scary I know.

Monday afternoon:

But then, there was a change of plan. At around lunch, my fluid drip was taken out and that I was told that I can eat back to normal. And I can be discharged in the evening around 6-7PM. So, I had lunch. BF suap me. So the touching. BFF, Afnan also came down. Alahai, suweet betol laa korang. The parents, uncle and grandmother was also there.

*The meal that I had before I was "allowed" to be discharged*

But then, the pain started again right after I eat. Merengkok satu mcm aku pat katil. BF, mummy sumer pat situ risau tengok aku mcm gitu. Called the doctor. And this part best, they says that wont be able to be discharged yet. So, I was asked to "fast" again (NBM) and back to the fluid drip.

As the second "pluck" was already taken out, now I have to have the third "pluck" on my hand. Wahh... Best kaper??? Tangan aku kene cucuk sane, cucuk sini. Naik bengkak sume urat aku. Most of the time in hospital, I was asleep because of the strong medicines given to me. Maaf eh semua, lau tak terlayan.

*The third cucuk that I had ; left hand*

*And BF's adidas sweater became my company throughout*

Monday night:

The night came. The doctors suspected that I had appendicts. So, I had to go for CT scan at around 9.30PM and I was also made to drink this full bottle of Oral drink. Purpose is for the visualisation of the organs in the body during the CT scan. BF saw how forceful I tried drinking the water. hehe!

Then, one by one, the family left for home. Baba asked the BF to stay with me until I go for my CT scan. He tried putting me to sleep, but I just cant. I hate being left alone in the hospital sey. The tears merely drop when he wanted to go home. Dah tak jadi si dia tuh nak balek. Aku tahu, aku boleh jadi cengeng di saat saat tengah sakit macam gini. So, I force myself to sleep and asked him to go home once Im asleep.

*I think I felt a kiss on the forehead before he left*

Not long before I go into my lalaland, the nurse woke me up saying that I have to go for my CT scan now. It was 10.10PM. I prayed so hard that please don't let it be appendicitis. 'Cause if it is, I would have to go for immediate surgery right away. My prayers were answered. Alhamdulillah.

Tuesday morning:

Spent the whole morning alone. No one came as everyone was back to work. So, I made friends with the nursing student from NYP. Mellissa and Paveerden, both female Indian nurse. So extra caring towards me. Hehe. I was given porridge for breakfast. Nice tau....

* I was so bored in the ward alone that the camera phone became my bestfriend for a while. Hehehe*

Tuesday Afternoon:

Was supposed to be discharged at 1PM. But the pain was back again, so I cant go home and wait till evening for further observation. Evening came and I was allowed to go home now. Supposedly, I had to stay in till Wednesday (which is today), but I told the doc that Im feeling much better now. So, This time round, I went home for real. Heehs. Seriously, it's so tiring lying down in the hospital bed for so long. Then, BF, mummy and ibu came to fetch me home.

Tuesday Night:

Room sweet room. I effing miss my bed so much. Ate medicines and went to sleep. Now, that was the journey of my days in the hospital.

------------------------------------------------------

3oth July, back to TTSH for the scope to be done. Scope will be done at 4.30PM. And, I can only have 2 plain biscuits and clear drink water before 7AM. After that, no more eating till the scope is done. Right after scope, will have to be outpatient in the observation ward again for 4 hours. Ohh my, this is the thing that worries me most now. 'Cause if there seems to be something wrong in the stomach, I will have to be admitted in the hospital again.

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo............ I dont want that again.......... Puhhhhleeasssasseeeeeeeeeeee.......

-------------------------------------------

To the family: Your sacrifices is really beyond any worth in world. I love you all.

To HAALF: Thank you for your support and prayer gerls. I love you all. Azzy, thank you for the consistent msg everyday. Aeisha'B, thank you for troubling yourself to ask the faci regarding my LOA. To Farahehh: Thanks for the post in ur blog. Sayang u all k??

To BF: Thank you for taking urgent leave just to take care of me. Your whole day company in the hospital just goes to show how BIG you love is for me. Thank you for the Hello Panda. ILY baby.

*I want Ben & Jerry when Im much better boleyy tak??*

To BFF, Afnan: Thankiu for coming over and visit me. You shouldn't have taken half day just to visit me you know. But nonetheless, thank you for the gift too. I love it.

To Moon: She wants to IM me every 5 hours, to check if I already had my meal. Sayang btol dia kat kite. hehe. Love you too Moon dearest.

To Atiqah: Can't wait to meet u in school too.. Hehe!

To everyone: Thank you all for ur prayers.

UT revision at Aeisha'B crib right after my tutoring. I love her house. A ground floor house with the athmosphere of Ala ala kampung house gitu. Nice sey.. But sadly, I had to leave early as I was in pain. But despite that again, Cam-whoring was never a miss. You know girls. Camera's will always be our bestfriend. Heehs.

Feat Farah, Lyy and Aeisha'B.

The pain in the stomach was unbearable and I have been vomitting out every single food that I ate. But then again, I shall say Thanks to the BF for fetching me up. This time round, I could see from his eyes that he was worried sick looking at my situation. Went to his home and got help from his parents.

After the treatment, I felt much much better. The appetite is back, and I no longer vomit out any food that I eat. Alhamdulillah. And for the first time, nope second, we took the train home. Looking at the weather, I chose the train instead of the bike... =))

-Im truly touched by the way you took care of me and wanting me to get well soon. It really touches my heart. Thank you syg. ILY.-

It feels so good after crying the heart out........

They noticed the changes in me.

They says.....

"I'm rather quiet now"

"You spent your entire time in the room alone"

"I don't see you eating any food at home anymore"

"You are always home late at night"

"And where did you go?"

"Where's the smile in your face now??"

Yeah. True enough.

Thousands of things; running through my mind.

I just needed those time alone to pick up myself again.

Now you know, stop asking me why and why.

Can?

Ever since that day,

my appetite has been SUPER down.

I hardly eat.

Just a bite here and there.

Drink water, maybe.

Well, sometimes I can even forget to eat.

So, those gastrics acted up again.

Plus those breathlessness issues.

I'm barely surviving on those alone.

But yet,

It's normal again to me.

Then,

The leg did some walking yesterday.

Thousands of picture to indicate

the thousands of questions in my mind.

And I have to go for the freaking appointment

at TTSH today.

ALONE.

Waah.. Loner sia.

Eh, but not actually,

BFF nudge me just now.

He'll be going there too for his appt.

Heehhs..

See if we meet on the way.

kkkkkk, PPT otw.

Chalo bete.

p.s: To all those anony tag. If you have so much to say, then kindly please write your name down. Thanks ehk. Just please dont be a nuisance.

-Even if I smile, that would be a fake smile that you're seeing-

Not anymore

You weren't the one that I once knew,

ANYMORE.

It's a burden to the Heart & Soul.

Am gonna let it be as it is.

'Cause it's just hurting me too much.

I knew it all along,

I was just another option to you.

You were always right,

and I was always wrong.

Perhaps, I was blind to foresee these.

Now that you want it your way,

Fine, I'll let it be as it is.

I'll make my way from here.

Just find me if you still need to.

My health - Gonna make that the least worries too.

.ENOUGH SAID.

-Back to square one-

It's reacting up again,

causing the tightening in the chest.

Shortness of breath

and abnormal breathing pattern.

I'm relying on my saviour for survival.

Please just don't die on me yet.

-I really hate this part right here-

"Im missing you so badly."

I have to admit that those butterflies seems to grow in numbers now whenever I think about you...

-REALLY-

Home sweet home. I shall say, I didnt really had a good time in Malaysia. Bf's prepaid card was giving me a hard time. He did top up the value. Yes, he did. I received his messages and I smiled while reading it. BUT!! I can't freaking send any messages to him. It's really shuccky I tell you. Even mum, dad and nenek can see how paranoid I was. Called the StarHub operator but the freaking operator wasn't of much help either. *bleaaargh*

Seeing that I frequently make a trip to Malaysia, I think I should just activate my StarHub line for Roaming. Furthermore, daddy's always the one who has been kind enough to pay for my bills. So, why not right?? hehe!

After a week of LOA from school ~ Finally, I'll be going back to school as normal. On a lighter note!! Tutoring pay is coming soon *smile wide wide* But on a heavier note, Im needing those inhalers than I need before. The frequent breathlessness is totally not a good sign. Can anyone please scold me if you see me drinking COLD water? 'Cause I always have the tendency to forget that. Hehe!

And ouh goshh! I've not being seeing BF for a week now. Please don't "mati lemas" yet baby. Haha! I know you miss me but you gotta hold on there. Meet you on Friday for syarahan =)



The island is all wet and cold. Just what a nice weather to sleep now. =__=


-And I shall say.. It's the distance that makes our love stronger-

Today's RJ Question:

"What is the one thing that fascinated you most about viruses and why?"

E-Learning done! RJ answered too. LOA over. So, back to school on Monday. Woohoo! Aneways, I gotta pack my toiletries and stuff. Sad sad. I won't be in Singapore again this weekend.

BF!! Have you bought the Happy $128 card for me?? If not, I won't be able to sms you seyy.... *pout lips* Take care everyone. And I'm going to miss my sweetheart as always.

-This is not goodbye 'cause this is starting over. And if you wanna know, I don't wanna let go.-

I thought that I've long gotten over you. But the matter of fact that I'm constantly smelling that "THALLIUM" here and there makes me think of you more. This can't be true 'cause I swear you were DEAD to me!

Now tell me, if it's not you, then who??

Now put all that aside, back to reality. Still on LOA. E-Learning on Recombinant DNA is NO NO fun at all. I'm barely surviving now. Serious. Tuesday was another killer E-Learning. The BioChem faci made me write a Word Document of my own understanding of the problem excluding RJ and worksheet assignment. How fun can that be? Thanks ehk faci. *grrr*

It was a Wednesday yesterday. So, there was a smile on my face. No E-Learning. Finally. So, I took all the greatest opportunity to sneak out of the house to Civic Centre. I tried breathing in and out the fresh air as much as I could. And I shall say my other companion made my day too =)

Back Home - I had the kitchen all by myself. I was craving for "ondeh-ondeh" badly.. BADLY and I mean it. So, there goes my "expedition". Make ondeh-ondeh for myself and the family. Then, BF says that he was craving for sardine roll. Sardine roll and ondeh-ondeh it is. Dydy was home and I shall say thankiu bro for helping me out. We had a great time of course.

*I eat ondeh-ondeh without any kelapa. Don't ask me why*

Bf came over around 7plus in his uniform. Ohh my ohh my... Sungguh nya mat kat hijau. haha! Had the sardine roll that was specially made for him. He suker laa sesangat of course. We were about to have dinner, when suddenly. I had the urge to go in to my room and look out at the window (just to have a check on his bike, 'cause he have the tendency to park his bike just right below my block and not the carpark). I saw someone was actually meddling with BF's bike. I swear! It pisses me off.

The whole kampung went down, including my dad,bros and Iqa. A stupid chinese driver was blind enough to spot Bf's bike and knocked it down. Gerek kaper??? Bodoh punya org! Motor sebesar besar itu pon kau tak nampak?? Nak salahkan anak-anak kau yang tengah bising dalam kereta pulak.

Ape lagi? The bike fell. Stand patah. And scrathces by the side. Aku punyelaa geraam. Adik aku dayat jgn cakap lagi. Dia memang panas baran. Mengamok dia kat situ. Yang Bf kat situ, cool aje. So, after negotioation, we get the reimburmsement. Fuuh...

Bf says.. It's a good thing. This means, he's going to pass his Class 3 License this August. I was left "HUHHH?" =__=

The other day, Bf's helmet was stolen. The weirdest thing. Both our helmets were locked by the seat. But the perompak only stole his helmet and not mine. This happened still at my area. Tssk tsskk tskkk. Kat Woodlands ni memang dah sah banyak perompak. Imagine laa, adik aku punya Motor pon kene. His bike cover head kene curik.. Ohh my!! Buat police report pon bukannya dia boley dapat alek benda tuh.

Now tell me... Haven't this people have got nothing better to do rather than stealing???

-Im off to Raffles Medical Hospital for checkup. Bubye-

Make it or that's it. While others did so for their loved ones, I did it so for myself and some other reasons. I'm not trying to meddle with my personal affairs here. 'Cause it's the least that I ever wanna talk on. However, some things are just not appropriate to be kept alone.

I'm not trying to say that I'm unfortunate here. I'm still wondering and it's that wonder that keeps me going on; finding for the right answer.

Perhaps, ''those secrets'' that were unveiled were true? It kept me wondering what fate brought me to this state of mind now. I was told and I was heard.. Searching for something. Something that made my life completely LOSS and MISERABLE. It's a breather to the air 'cause I have the answers now.

You were there. And YOU controlled my life. You took away my happiness. You shred away my LIFE 'cause you were happy to see the broken lineage of mine. I was helpless still and there you were, making sure that I did everything as per told. You were ALWAYS right and my opinions were not even once bothered. I kept mum 'cause there were no one to side me.

Now that I'm free from you, don't you ever dare come close to me now. It's over and it's done with. And it's because of you, my life is full of hatred.

Though I said that Im going to act like it was all a dream, Im going to do it so from now on. Im not ever going to forsake my own happiness for others from now on. Don't blame me for that, 'cause you were the one who taught me too. Aneways, this shall be the last post as it is.

-FULLSTOP-